ALIVE (199 words) by Nicole Loos Miller

He gasped, taking his first breath in over a year. 

Halloween. She must be close.

He flexed his fingers, smiling. Soon he’d be able to move his whole body, if only for one night.

Ten years ago, she’d been playing with her homemade wand in the cornfield. The green spark surprised them both – landing on the scarecrow’s chest, igniting a beat within his heart.

Now, she was eighteen. The farm had been sold. It would be their last night together before he was torn down, his fields paved.

Dried cornhusks crunched underfoot as she approached. He climbed down, limbs awkward with disuse. 

His heart ached as her green eyes pierced through him. She was different this year – taller, face thinner. But that same mischievous smile sent a tingle across his burlap skin. 

She reached out and nestled her fingers between his.  

“I missed you,” she whispered.

His reply caught in his throat.  

She laughed – a bright, silver sound.  

His heart beat like a caged bird. 

“I made a wish,” she said, leaning close. She smelled of cloves and fallen leaves. 

Her lips on his. 

A spark. 

But this time, it spread. 

He was alive.

For good. 

(This story was written for the Fall Writing Frenzy which challenges writers to write a story in 200 words or less, based on a provided picture.)

35 responses

  1. dedradavis03 Avatar

    Nicole!! I need more! So very good! Clap clap clap

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thanks, Dedra! I think you guys have convinced me to expand it 🙂 I’m plotting….

      1. dedradavis03 Avatar

        👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

    2. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      🙂 Thank you, Dedra!!

      1. dedradavis03 Avatar

        ♥️♥️♥️👏🏼👏🏼

  2. seschipper Avatar

    I agree!! Great job, we need more…

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      The best compliment a writer can get! Thank you so much 🙂

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      I’m so glad! Thank you, Dana!

  3. Sarah Meade Avatar

    Awesome! I love the changes you made. So magical and romantic.

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thank you so much Sarah! And, always, for your feedback 🙂

  4. limakat Avatar

    Sweet!

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar
  5. Janie Reinart Avatar
    Janie Reinart

    Nicole , Great twist on the kiss and frog/prince story. Love-sent a tingle across his burlap skin. I want to read more of your fairy tale❤️

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thank you so much, Janie!

  6. Janie Reinart Avatar
    Janie Reinart

    Nicole , Great twist on the kiss and frog/prince story. Love-sent a tingle across his burlap skin. I want to read more of your fairy tale❤️

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Yay! Thank you, Janie!

  7. Sarah Tobias Avatar

    I love it! It’s filled with atmosphere, longing and love. You could definitely expand it and give us more.

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      I’m so glad to hear you love it! Thank you so much!

  8. Sarah SarahH Avatar
    Sarah SarahH

    Love the changes!!! So good

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thank you! And thank you for all your feedback! 🙂

  9. Glenda Roberson Avatar

    Nicole! This is just perfect. Your changes made this story come alive (pun intended, lol). Well done, my friend! Wishing for more….MG novel?

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Aw, thank you so much, Glenda! Some YA notes might be in the works…

  10. Jakki Avatar

    What a unique concept! I love it!

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thank you so much, Jakki!

  11. gayleckrause Avatar

    Excellent! What a wonderful start to A YA novel. Go for it!

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thank you so much 🙂

  12. Jolene Ballard Gutiérrez Avatar

    Oh, so lovely! I’m so glad to read a happy ending. <3

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thank you so much, Jolene!

  13. arndt4writing Avatar
    arndt4writing

    Please, please, please finish this story! I need to read more!!! So good!!! You’re amazing!

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Aw, thank you Daniele!

  14. Kaitlyn Leann Sanchez Avatar

    Thanks for sharing this happy and unique love story with us for the fall writing frenzy!

    1. Nicole Loos Miller Avatar

      Thanks for reading (and, you know, organizing and running the whole thing!)

      1. Kaitlyn Leann Sanchez Avatar

        😍😍 thank you for sharing and for being such a wonderful part of the community

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